Garlic: Good for You, Bad for Vampires
by Gemini Artemis
Summary: Uncle finds out he was right about garlic being good for you.


**Disclaimer:** I don't own JCA. If I did, I'd not be writing this fic at two in the morning.   
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**_Garlic: Good for You, Bad for Vampires_**

In a cold and rainy night in San Francisco, things were not very fun at Uncle's Rare Finds. All the adults were researching and translating and Jade was looking for some tapes in her room. She could no longer stand this boredom, so she decided to find the films she hired. 

The three men heard the sound of the television being turned on. They could also guess that the film started just like they were now, or in other words, in a rainy night. They heard wolves howling and a woman who was breathing with difficulty, seemingly running as fast as she could. 

"Hey, don't you want to watch the movie too?" Jade asked from the room where she was. 

"Jade, we're very busy right now," Jackie answered, although he looked like was very tempted to accept the invitation. 

"Tch. You've been doing that the whole week. Come on, it's Saturday! Why don't you take some rest?" the girl insisted. 

Jackie and Tohru looked at each other then at Uncle, who raised his glance from the book to look at them as well. He frowned, but did not say anything. Jackie approached him, smiling. 

"What do you think, Uncle? Only for two hours?" 

"I need to finish this research tonight," Uncle said, reading his book again. He blinked several times, feeling his eyelids heavy. No matter what he said, he was tired after so many hours reading and translating ancient and complicated texts. 

"Since it is so important, perhaps you really should continue your research, sensei," Tohru said, putting his book on the table and going to the room where Jade was. Jackie was about to do the same when he suddenly remembered something. 

"Oh, Uncle," he called. "If you'll going to stay awake tonight, you should drink some coffee instead of tea. It will help you stay awake," he suggested before joining Jade and Tohru. Uncle sighed and stood up to go to the kitchen. He _really_ needed a cup of coffee right now. 

When coming back from the kitchen, he went past the room where they were watching the film and he decided to go back to see what it was about, from the door. Seemingly, it was still beginning. A woman in a cemetery had tripped and was trying to get up. A shadow covered her, groaning. The woman screamed and managed to get up and run to a church near the cemetery. The creature went after her, making her even more terrified. Fortunately, she got to enter the church right on time. She took a wooden cross and showed it to the creature, which now appeared clearly and revealed to be a western vampire. It retreated, unable to even look at the cross. 

At this point, Uncle had completely forgotten about his research. He just stood there, watching the whole film. 

------

As soon as the film was over, Jade convinced Jackie and Tohru to watch more two horror films. Uncle went back to his work, but could not stop thinking about the vampire. Then, he realised: he knew much about Chinese vampires, but almost nothing about the western ones. And if Chinese vampires existed, the western ones should exist as well! 

Under a strong effect of the ten cups of coffee – now going to the eleventh one –, Uncle was not sleepy at all anymore. On the contrary, he could not relax. He was too worried about the western vampires menace. After a while, he abandoned his research and decided to look for information about vampires. He discovered many useful things. Actually, he had had no idea that there was such a good book in his own library. 

He heard the television being turned off and some yawns. Jackie headed to the kitchen and Uncle lifted his book that he could pretend he was reading it while he was actually observing his nephew. 

Jackie went past the door and Uncle widened his eyes when seeing what he was drinking. A red liquid, it looked like... blood! His face was also much paler than usual, and there were dark spots under his eyes. He looked like the vampire in the film. 

Uncle also already knew that vampires drank blood. He did not know how Jackie had got blood at this time, but... 

His eyes widened even more as he remembered Jade and Tohru and he rushed to the room. Both of them were lying on the sofa, their gaze was vague and their eyelids almost closing. They looked like zombies. Or... vampires. 

"Aiyah..." he murmured in shock. 

"Still awake, Uncle?" Jackie's voice asked behind him and the old man quickly turned around, alarmed. His nephew had his eyes half-open and vague as well, and was smiling rather scarily. "So, did you finish your research?" 

Uncle swallowed and made an effort to face him seriously. 

"Not quite," he answered. Jackie's smile slightly widened and he took a step forward, looking at Tohru and Jade. 

"Hey, you two. It's late, bed-time," he announced. The duo in the sofa groaned and slowly got up, pale like ghosts, and stumbled to the stairs. This time it was Uncle's turn to go pale. He could not believe what he had just witnessed; Jackie gave them an order and even Jade obeyed. Of course, those poor souls' blood had been sucked and now they were Jackie's minions. 

But how had Jackie turned into a vampire? Perhaps it had been Tohru's mother's fault... Yes, it was probably that. He knew she was a vampire! 

"Uncle," Jackie called and the old man turned to face him. The archaeologist lifted a glass with that red liquid and offered it to his uncle. "Do you want some of this?" 

A thunder made him flinch and its lighting shone on Jackie's face on a sinister way. He could also swear that he had heard the sound of a big bell ringing, as if his death was being announced. On top of that, he had the willies. That was never a good sign. 

"Aiyahhh!" Uncle shouted, forming a cross with his index fingers and showing it to Jackie. "Stay away from me! You will not get me! No vampire is match for Uncleeee!" 

Jackie retreated, widening his eyes and staring at his elder in concern. 

"Uncle... you're scaring me..." 

"Exactly! Stay away from me, you evil creature!" 

Jackie carefully walked to the stairs, always facing Uncle, and sighed, shaking his head. 

"You're not getting black coffee ever again..." he said before going upstairs under Uncle's suspicious glare. 

After making sure that Jackie would not come back, the old man got his book and read the chapter 'How to protect yourself from vampires'. The first suggestion was garlic; vampires hated garlic, they could even approach it. Uncle smiled, pleased. 

"I knew garlic was good for me." 

And at that night, he slept covered in garlic in a room that was lined with garlic and with a cross under his pillow. 

------

The following day, Jade and Tohru seemed to be back to normal. Perhaps hackie had not sucked enough blood. Uncle carefully observed him the whole time, each movement of his. 

Jackie invited them to go to an exhibition of Egyptian mummies and Jade and Tohru thought it was a good idea. Uncle had no choice but go with them. No way would he let his nephew curse the rest of the family. 

On their way, Uncle noted that they were approaching a church. There was a cross in the building and he smiled; he wanted to see the vampire's reaction. 

Just a bit more... 

"Ah!" Jackie suddenly exclaimed, stopping the group. "I forgot something important! I have had to buy it for a while." 

"Now, Jackie?", Jade asked impatiently. 

"It won't take me too long. I'll be right back," he said before crossing the street to go in a store on a corner ahead. Uncle narrowed his eyes; Jackie was avoiding the church, he could not stand the cross! 

Jade and Tohru continued their way, saying that they were going to get a place in the line. Uncle reluctantly followed them. 

Indeed, it did not take his nephew too long. Ten minutes later he was back, wearing sunglasses. 

"What's that for, Jackie?" Jade asked curiously. 

"Oh, it's just to protect my eyes from the sunlight, Jade." 

Uncle widened his eyes and turned around so that nobody noticed him taking a book from his bag. 

"Hmm... Vampires cannot stand the daylight either..." he murmured to himself while he read about vampires' weaknesses. 

"Uncle, Hello! What are you doing?" Jade asked. He immediately kept the book and turned to face them. 

"Nothing." 

Everybody looked at one another and shrugged. 

------

During the visit to the exhibition of mummies, Jackie had not done anything suspicious, but Uncle was more and more convinced that he was a vampire. For what other reason would he buy sunglasses – after avoiding a church – just to protect his eyes from the sunlight, if they were going to an exhibition inside a _building_? 

Now the night was falling. The bell of the door rang and he raised his gaze to see who had just come in. Unfortunately, it was not a customer, but his nephew. Uncle frowned in annoyance. 

"Phew, it's been raining for hours. This weather just keeps getting stranger, doesn't it, Uncle?" Jackie commented, hanging his umbrella in a hook near the door. He was wearing a sort of bluish black cloak, which really reminded him of the vampire from the film. Uncle slit his eyes and searched in his book for vampires' disguises while Jackie innocently went upstairs. 

At night, the rain had become harder and the electricity went off. Uncle took a lantern he kept in one of the drawers of his desk and turned it on. Vampires liked the dark; this would be the perfect moment for him to attack. He needed to be prepared. He took some garlic and kept it in his pocket before quietly going upstairs. Then, he saw Jade, who was covering her nose. 

"Uncle? What did you do to your room? The smell of garlic is unbearable and now we have to go past it very fast, touching the wall on the other side and covering our noses," she said. 

"We have to be prepared, Jade..." he replied gloomily at the moment when there was another thunder. Jade raised an eyebrow and shook her head. 

"I'm going to the kitchen." 

"Good. Remember to take some garlic. It will be good for you." 

Jade gestured to him meaning she would do that, although she had rolled her eyes and sighed loudly. Uncle did not care and continued walking in silence to Jackie's room. 

The room was lit with candles only. Very strange... If Uncle himself was already using a lantern, why would his nephew be using something 'old' such as candles? And was it really necessary to light so many of them for only one small room? 

Then, Jackie's shadow shook and he shouted. It was not too loud, but it was enough to make Uncle alarmed. When the shadow had a shape again, it looked more like a bat's shadow. Uncle retreated and bent down when he saw the bat leaving the room and flying above him until downstairs. 

The electricity was on again and he went downstairs to reread the book. As he feared, vampires did turn into bats! 

He was so concentrated on his reading that did not even noticed if someone was going in or out the shop or talked to him. When he realised, it was eight thirty and it had stopped raining. The shop was in silence; seemingly, he was alone. 

The telephone rang, making him flinch. He carefully answered it. It was Jackie. 

_'Uncle, could you please come here in the museum? I need your help,'_ the archaeologist said. Uncle hanged up and took a deep breath, keeping more garlic in his pocket – which was already full of it – and left. 

------

The museum was almost all dark. He quickly found the room where Jackie was, and saw him inside something that seemed to be a coffin. So, his nephew had even found a coffin to sleep in?! 

He stepped back. There was another thunder and he turned around. This was getting dangerous; Jackie had called him here to suck his blood and he narrowly escaped. It was time to get rid of the vampire once and for all. 

------

Eleven thirty in the night, Jackie was coming in the shop. Jade noted that he looked a bit angry. 

"What's the matter, Jackie?" 

"It's Uncle. I called him to help me, but he didn't come." 

"Yeah, Uncle has been acting strange lately," the girl remarked. "Have you seen what he did to his room? That thing is covered in garlic..." she said in a low voice. Jackie tiredly sighed and went upstairs. 

"It's late, Jade. It's past your bed-time." 

"Aww..." 

They headed to their respective rooms. Jackie sleepily wore his pyjama and fell on his bed, pulling the sheet to cover him and calmly closing his eyes. 

... 

Jackie heard a voice, very far away. He did not understand what it was saying, but he felt strange, as if he were in danger. He opened his eyes; there was another thunder, which lighting shone on Uncle's freak face. The old wizard was glaring at him and holding a stake in a hand and a hammer in the other. 

"Waaahhhhh!" 

"It's your end!" the old man shouted, pointing the stake onto Jackie's chest. Fortunately, he managed to escape by rolling out the bed. Uncle looked like was possessed, he glared at him with hatred and determination to attack him. 

"Uncle! What are you doing?" 

"It's all right, Jackie! I will free you from the curse so that you can rest in peace!" 

Jackie raised an eyebrow in disbelief. 

"What? Wah!" he shouted as he was attacked again. Jade and Tohru, hearing the noise and the screams, hurried to Jackie's room and were just as surprised. 

"Sensei?!" Tohru exclaimed. 

"Back away! Uncle will get rid of this monster right now!" his master said, pointing at Jackie with the stake. 

"What?!" Tohru widened his eyes in shock. 

"But why, Uncle?" Jade wanted to know. 

"Because Jackie is a vampireeee!" 

The room was completely silent for some seconds, until Jade burst into laughter. 

"A... A vampire, Uncle? Hahaha, come on, stop joking!" 

"Not joking! He _is_ a vampire! Uncle has proofs!" 

Jade laughed even more. Jackie and Tohru could just stare at Uncle, astonished. 

"Right... And what are your _proofs_?" the girl asked. 

"Uncle saw Jackie drinking your and Tohru's blood in the night when you watched the film!" 

Jackie scratched his head. "Oh, that? It wasn't blood, it was red currant juice." 

"That's true, sensei. There is still some of it in the refrigerator," Tohru added and Uncle snorted. 

"At that same night, you were all pale like ghosts, as if you were undeads!" he insisted. 

"That was because we were very tired. You, too, were very pale," Jackie replied. 

"And Jade and Tohru behaved like zombies, obeying Jackie and stumbling for no reason!" 

"Well, we probably were really tired," Jade said, shrugging. Uncle did not give up and pointed at Jackie. 

"And why did you avoid that church and bought sunglasses even though you knew there would not be any sunlight in that exhibition of mummies?" 

"I... don't remember any church, but... I bought those sunglasses because I'll need them next week, when I go to Egypt." 

"And what about that black cloak?" 

"A bluish black cloak?" Jade confirmed. "It's the cloak he wore when he helped me in that play, don't you remember? He had to wear that because..." She smiled nervously. "I accidentally set fire to his raincoat..." 

Jackie frowned and rolled his eyes, and Uncle still looked suspiciously at him. 

"I saw you turning into a bat when the electricity went off." 

"Oh..." Jackie sighed. "Uncle, that wasn't me, it was an ordinary bat that had come in my room through the window because it was raining. But I just noticed it after I had closed the window and he got scared." 

"I bet you got scared too," Jade remarked. 

Uncle seemed to be deep in thought, almost completely convinced that everything was just a misunderstanding. 

"One more thing..." 

Everyone blinked. 

"When you called me to go to the museum, I saw you inside a coffin." 

For a moment, Jackie was speechless. He stared at Uncle like he could not believe what he had just heard. 

"Uncle, that was not a coffin, it was a sarcophagus!" 

"Bah, it's all the same!" 

"No, it's not! That sarcophagus was Egyptian, and I called you to help me read the inscriptions inside it. Since it was very hard to read it, I had to lean forward and I ended up losing my balance and falling inside the sarcophagus," Jackie explained. Jade tried to suppress another laugh while Uncle dropped the stake and the hammer. Tohru just shook his head and Jackie sighed. 

"Can we go sleep now, Uncle...?" 

"Uncle," Jade called. "We're never going to let you drink black coffee after a whole week of work." 

------

The following morning, Uncle had already forgotten almost completely about the whole vampire matter when he suddenly stopped and thought. 

_'Wait a minute... Uncle does not know anything about Egyptian hieroglyphics!'_

He glanced around in suspicion and slipped his hand into his pocket to make sure he still had garlic with him. He needed to be prepared. 

**THE END**


End file.
